Here’s the NYT obit. Not sure why Robert D. McFadden, a 30-yr veteran and political reporter wrote it, but I guess they wanted a jump start on the sad news. It starts with some flubby beauty metaphors that would’ve made Joan kvetch, but it gets better. Sometimes I think The Gray Lady has become The Gray Crone (and not in a good way), but that’s another matter.

Here’s Joan on the Ed Sullivan Show, 1967. Brilliant!! , and some of her best jokes:

I have no sex appeal. If my husband didn’t toss and turn, we’d never have had the kid.

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die, they will donate my body to Tupperware.

My vagina is like Newark. Men know it’s there, but they don’t want to visit.

A man can sleep around, no questions asked. But if a woman makes 19 or 20 mistakes, she’s a tramp.

I hate housework. You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later, you have to start all over again.

My husband killed himself. And it was my fault. We were making love and I took the bag off my head.

When I was born, my mother asked the doctor, “Will she live?” He said, “Only if you take your foot off her throat.”

My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.

My breasts are so low, now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.

I was the only Jewish kid in a Catholic neighborhood. They all did Hail Marys, I did Hail Murrays.

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, “The man goes on top and the woman underneath.” For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.

Princess Diana and the Queen are driving down the lane when their car is forced off the road by masked thieves. “Out of the car and hand over your jewels.” After the thieves rob them and steal their car, Diana begins to put her earrings, necklace, and rings back on. “Wherever did you hide those,” demanded the Queen. “Where do you think?” asked Diana. “Pity Margaret wasn’t here,” said the Queen. “We could have saved the Bentley.”

I was so ugly that they sent my picture to Ripley’s Believe It or Not and he sent it back and said, “I don’t believe it.”

When the rabbi said, “Do you take this man,” 14 guys said, “She has.” My husband bought the horseback-riding story, thank God.

You want to get Cindy Crawford confused? Ask her to spell mom backwards.

I was so flat, I used to put Xs on my chest and write, “You are here.” I wore angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet.

I blame myself for David Gest. It was me who told Liza Minnelli to find herself a man who wouldn’t sleep with other women.

The whole Michael Jackson thing was my fault. I told him to date only 28-year-olds. Who knew he would find 20 of them?

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.

And since we’re all adults here, let’s be brutally honest — most babies are not actually attractive. In fact, they’re weird and freakish-looking. A large percentage of them are squinty-eyed and bald and their faces are all mushed together, kind of like Renée Zellweger pushed up against a glass window.

I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, “Marry him, you’ll double your wardrobe.”

Did you hear Tom Cruise just had a baby? He was there when it was born … He should have been there when it was conceived.

My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I saw my first porno film recently. It was a Jewish porno film — one minute of sex and nine minutes of guilt.

Not all plastic surgeons are good. My cousin went to one and told him she wanted to turn back the hands of time. Now she has a face that could stop a clock.

Everybody talks about multiple orgasm. Multiple orgasm — I’m lucky if both sides of my toaster pop.

On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.

I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.

Want to know why women don’t blink during foreplay? Not enough time.

“You know I love you, Joan. Goodbye, through tears, Tiny Giant. Heaven just got meaner and way funnier.” PeeWee Herman

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While in the past, I’ve had guest speakers (curators, artists, gallerists), the writing and editing process has always engaged participants the most, so this year its all about the STATEMENT. My intern created this Tumblr blog, which will be updated with more testimonials over time, so you can go there for more info, or read below. SIGN UP NOW while there’s room, and there’s a 10% discount if you mention janestown.net in your email!

CONQUERING THE ARTIST STATEMENT (AND OTHER INSIDER TIPS): A 4-WEEK
WORKSHOP FOR VISUAL ARTISTS/DESIGNERS

Do you know what constitutes an effective Artist Statement – what tone to take, how much detail is needed, what work to focus on – or just struggle with actually writing one?

Conquering The Artist Statement will teach you how to write and edit a strong, concise Artist Statement through in-class exercises, group critiques, and individual edits geared toward concrete results.
OPEN TO ALL!

TAUGHT BY MOI, JANE HARRIS, PUBLISHED ART CRITIC, INDEPENDENT CURATOR, SVA FACULTY MEMBER, AND FORMER GALLERY DIRECTOR (see ** below for more bio info.)

ON THE IMPORTANCE OF ARTIST STATEMENTS:
“Artist Statements are the foundation for press releases, grant proposals, cover letters, and catalogues. They are essential to your career. Just as your work, life, ideas, etc. change over time, so too should your Statement. An Artist Statement should be updated as often as a resume.” Jane Harris

“A poorly written statement has turned me off an artist’s work. Being a literary person, I am influenced by the way people speak and write. A badly written or poorly conceived statement pushes me in the wrong direction.” Edward Sozanski, art critic, Philadelphia Inquirer

TWO EVENING SESSIONS AVAILABLE: $275. per session.
MAY 20 – JUNE 12, THURSDAYS, 7-9PM/JUNE 4 – JUNE 25, WEDNESDAYS 7-9PM
(LOCATION: PARTICIPANT INC., 235 E. HOUSTON ST. NEW YORK, NY)

TO SIGN UP, OR RECEIVE MORE INFORMATION, EMAIL
janeharr@bway.net (subject heading: ARTIST WORKSHOP).

Testimonials:

“The workshop taught by Jane Harris was very informative and helpful on many levels, particularly, our focus on the often dreaded “artist statement.” As a group we dissected and discussed each statement as a stand alone entity, only later to see it in tandem with the actual artwork of each participant. I recognized how an obvious function of the statement can easily fail. Does the artwork actually connect in vision and theme to the writing. Creating continuity and focus between the work and statement continues to be a vital process guiding me whenever I revisit my statement and/or assist a peer/ colleague.” Jessica Stoller, MFA Cranbrook Art Academy, PPOW Gallery, reviewed in Hyperallergic and Artforum

“I recently took Jane Harris’ workshop and got so much out of it on so many levels. First of all it helped me organize my ideas about my art work in a personal manner with engaging language. I already had a statement but in the class I rewrote it with the help of Jane and with the feedback of the students. The end result was much more authentic, current, punchy, visual and effective.

Shortly after Harris’ workshop, I curated a group exhibition in Chelsea featuring my work and that of others, and my perfected Artist Statement from Harris’ workshop was very instrumental in the planning of this show, its press release, etc. I also made great contacts and friends in this course, which attracted high caliber artists with whom I was pleased to engage.”
Rebecca Haskins, MFA St. Martins, London

“At this point in my painting career I have been feeling an ever growing need to communicate with others and your workshop hits the spot. I genuinely appreciate what you are doing and this has been a very refreshing experience for me. Believe or not, it took a quite a lot of courage for me to come out of my studio and talk about my paintings. I am glad I did, and it means a lot to me. Thank you.” Suhee Wooh, Pollock-Krasner Foundation Grant recipient, Pierogi 2000 gallery

**Jane Harris is a Brooklyn-based writer whose writings have appeared in publications from Art in America and Artforum to Time Out New York, and the Village Voice. She is a regular Huffington Post columnist, and has also contributed essays to various catalogues and monographs such as Hatje Cantz’s Examples to Follow: Expeditions in Aesthetics and Sustainability (2010); Boulder Museum of Contemporary Art Carla Gannis (2008); Phaidon’s Vitamin P: New Perspectives in Painting (2004) and Vitamin D: New Perspectives in Drawing (2005), Universe-Rizzoli’s Curve: The Female Nude Now (2004), and Twin Palms’ Anthony Goicolea (2003). Ms. Harris is a member of the art history faculty at School of Visual Arts, and has curated exhibitions reviewed in Art Forum, New York Magazine, the Village Voice and Time Out, New York. She is the founder of the blog(zine), janestown.net, and has been the director of two long-term NYC non-profit art spaces.

(private consultations also available)

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JELENA BEHREND:

ANDREA CORSON:

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I didn’t know Lou Reed personally, I imagine few really did. Of course, because of his tangential relationship to the art world via the uber-brilliant Laurie Anderson, his wife, I know people who did. Or who thought they did, wanted believe they did, because they interviewed him or took a picture together, hung out at some event, etc. Over all, capitalizing on a just-deceased person’s fame really turns my stomach, but once its an official news story, I guess its expected.

And then there were the people who got to trashing him right away?! The inevitable “he was an asshole, period” comments (eyeroll) that seemed so inappropriate. Doesn;t anyone consider the suffering and shock of loved ones left behind, especially when they have to live in the fishbowl of public scrutiny? It astonishes me. There’s just no communal respect anymore for those in mourning, it would appear. Anyway, I attempted here and there to politely counter these callous digs by saying “well, he might have been a misanthrope but he was also compassionate” – a contrary nature that gave his work its power IMHO. When one blogger suggested that LR had no talent – because the latter gave him a hard time when he was first starting out – and got by on attitude, I thought nice eulogy, who’s the asshole? That’s when I gave up, and said nothing:)

How people hang on to things like that for decades is beyond me, anyway. Pouncing the second they can when a person is no longer alive to defend themselves. No balls. Case in point, Vulture today publishing “Looking Back at Lou Reed’s Famously Contentious Relationship With Rock Critic Lester Bangs”, which I’m not going to link to, but here’s the opening line, which relegates LR’s death to a parenthetical (?!): “Over the years, Lou Reed, who died today at age 71, gained the reputation for being a sensationally prickly interview subject.” (Here’s the original profile by Bangs, that I’ll share) So you see what I mean, I’m avoiding the media on this for a while.

Mostly though I just posted all day to process my own sense of loss. LR’s music meant a lot to me, and I identified very strongly with it for many years. I’d rather not get more maudlin than that. There were a few interesting obits I read too (always amazes me what good writers can do w/so little time), loved this one by Michael Musto, and Rolling Stone did a good job of getting the whole profile together and focusing on compiling music (sadly one expects there was a file ready to go in some computer before the transplant though), and a few impromptu tributes here in NYC (Bowery Poetry Club, Otto’s Shrunken Head), which I decided not to go to (open mic is not my scene).

Here’s what I posted on FB followed, if you can stay with me that long, by some observations as I re-experience these posts in reverse (created links w/quotes when latter were song lyrics):

I AM STUNNED… LOU REED HAS MEANT SO MUCH TO ME OVER THE YEARS…WAS JUST LISTENING TO VU, AND “NEW YORK”, SO GRATEFUL I GOT TO SEE HIM PERFORM SEVERAL TIMES, ALWAYS CANTANKEROUS AND BRILLIANT! RIP

“HE’S NEVER EARLY, HE’S ALWAYS LATE…” — Velvet Underground – I´m Waiting For The Man

GREAT FOOTAGE OF LOU DANCING!!! — Lou Reed – Sweet Jane – live in Paris, 1974

Vicious / You hit me with a flower / You do it every hour / Oh baby, you’re so vicious / Vicious / You want me to hit you with a stick / But all I’ve got is a guitar pick

“sha lalala, c’mon baby lets slip away…” — Lou Reed – Street Hassle (complete music video)

“One chord is fine. Two chords is pushing it. Three chords and you’re into jazz.” — Lou Reed Metal Machine Music, Part 1 (HQ)

“lou was very adept at spontaneously erupting into elegant forms of prose and poetry” – john cale
— John Cale on Lou Reed and himself

Lou Reed & John Cale – Songs For Drella (Full Album) (HQ)

“so you want people to take drugs, why is this?”
“oh yeah, cuz its better than monopoly.” — Lou Reed Interview at Sydney Airport – 1974

THE EYELINER AND ‘FRO DAYS, LOVE THIS FOOTAGE THO HE’S REALLY HIGH HERE — Lou Reed Live Olympia Theatre, Paris 1973, Walk On The Wild Side , Heroin and White Light, White heat

“give me your hungry, your tired, your poor, i’ll piss on ’em, that’s what your statue of bigotry says” — Lou Reed performs “Dirty Blvd.” live at the Farm Aid concert in Indianapolis, Indiana on April 7th, 1990.

“people in new york do get ahead by who they know not what they can do” lou at his cranky best, taking on the music biz:)) –Lou Reed grills Mark Josephson, co-director of the New Music Seminar, on a 1986 episode of MTV’s 120 Minutes.

Lou after the transplant, on spotify/free downloading of music: “this whole idea of starving artists that stay starving artists, meanwhile you’ve got artists like damien hirst selling for a gazillion dollars” –Lou Reed’s shock at Edward Snowden’s NSA revelations

ok, the last one – my namesake song, a bouncy version, lou you will always and forever be in my heart

OBSERVATIONS: Obviously, I was drawn to live footage immediately, interviews as well as performances (as I’m sure were many, but I didn’t read posts until after I’d “processed”. AND it seems I liked anything that captured him dancing (and less guarded)! I think I captured examples of his rancorous wit and fierce generosity ( (even on David Letterman), that unusual mix that as I said above made his music so potent (and like Sinatra, I find his phrasing brilliantly varied in live stuff). The verbal runs in this show when he just ad libs all this poetry is a perfect example. The line I quoted in related thread being: ‘fuck radio ethiopia, man, I’m radio Brooklyn” Recorded live at Bottom Line 17-21 May 1978, no overdubbing. Mixed at Delta Studio, Wilster — Sweet Jane Germany (and yes, I noticed there were several Sweet Jane versions — naturally!)

I noticed too I liked the 1970s and 1990s Lou the best, the former for the obvious sexiness and decadence but also for its fevered experimentation, and the latter for the more reflective writing. I think of LR as a storyteller. “New York” is on my desert island list, I never get tired of it. I could go on and on. I’m glad to have a place to archive my thoughts/reactions. My little mourning session for the ICONIC NEW YORK ROCK LEGEND, LOU REED (1942-2013) who will forever be missed. RIP. (How painful to have to type that end date…may a new fan be born every minute)

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It is a cash-only place though, so maybe they do actually live off of them. Awful. I’ve long worried about the full story of those who work in these places (when I lived in Chinatown, I went to similar establishments), as they can’t be fully legal. Not in some happy ending kind of way-worry, because there’s nothing but curtains separating you from another customer, but about whether those working there are exploited. Working for room and board, tips their only cash. OR maybe because there’s so many yipsters in the hood now, she was getting people who didn’t tip, and was just in a bad mood. Its worth remembering how many immigrants are exploited in this city in so many ways, and the statistical rise in human trafficking, which most prefer to ignore, is crazy disturbing. I tried to find info. on this online, specifically if low-budget NYC Chinese massage places were mob-run like their erotic counterparts, but couldn’t really. They may be independent businesses?

Some good news: landlord finally turned on the heat, yea! Grateful for that! And here’s a few photos I took today in the nabe, its feeling so autumnal! Plus a shot of this weird bug that just appeared by my lamp, no clue how it got in the house or what it is? This is getting to be a pattern. Things showing up out of nowhere as I write these nightly posts…hmmmmm. Of course I didn’t kill it, can’t do that, just scooped it into a glass and released in the hallway.Hopefully it will decide if it wants to go out from there as I was afraid to toss it outside since its so cold. S/he’s about 3/4 of an inch, substantial, and quite calm. It alighted on my wall right above my desk as I was typing this, and just stayed there (on this Joseph Beuys announcement card for a show at Oldenburger Kunstverein/1986, which I found in a local junk shop years ago). Oh wtf, I’ll take a shot of it and include too. Battery in camera is almost dead, so it was a one second shot. Ok, well if anyone has any idea what this flying insect is, do let me know! NITE NITE!

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Anyway, that friend’s comment made me laugh because the “other situation” we also talked about (that professional betrayal I mentioned last week) is for me its own screenplay, power and corruption being the most compelling form of drama, IMHO. Oddly, we discovered as well a mutual love for serial killer-themed TV, and this appetite for the dark and baroque once again rearing its head put me in mind somehow of Baudelaire (I know a weird segue, but I teach him this time every year).

Maybe its Halloween and/or the moon? I wish I was astrologically astute enough to know what’s going on because I do believe celestial activity impacts collective behavior…I just wish some astrophysicist would take time out of her day to interpret the planetary traffic patterns for us laypeople in terms that reflect chaos and string theory, and don’t sound like its still 1975. Can you imagine what those horoscopes would look like? I actually can’t either:)

So here’s a Baudelaire poem I love, The Balcony, one he wrote for his “Venus Noire”, Hatian-born actress and dancer, Jeanne Duval, the love of his life, who has, sadly, been reduced to femme fatale status (and in racist terms), blamed for Baudelaire’s addiction to opium. Following that is a portrait of her by Manet (1862), and one by Baudelaire (undated).

“MOTHER of memories, mistress of mistresses,
O thou, my pleasure, thou, all my desire,
Thou shalt recall the beauty of caresses,
The charm of evenings by the gentle fire,
Mother of memories, mistress of mistresses!

The eves illumined by the burning coal,
The balcony where veiled rose-vapour clings–
How soft your breast was then, how sweet your soul!
Ah, and we said imperishable things,
Those eves illumined by the burning coal.

Lovely the suns were in those twilights warm,
And space profound, and strong life’s pulsing flood,
In bending o’er you, queen of every charm,
I thought I breathed the perfume in your blood.
The suns were beauteous in those twilights warm.

The film of night flowed round and over us,
And my eyes in the dark did your eyes meet;
I drank your breath, ah! sweet and poisonous,
And in my hands fraternal slept your feet–
Night, like a film, flowed round and over us.

I can recall those happy days forgot,
And see, with head bowed on your knees, my past.
Your languid beauties now would move me not
Did not your gentle heart and body cast
The old spell of those happy days forgot.

Can vows and perfumes, kisses infinite,
Be reborn from the gulf we cannot sound;
As rise to heaven suns once again made bright
After being plunged in deep seas and profound?
Ah, vows and perfumes, kisses infinite!”

And since we’re on dark themes, just heard this live version of one of my favorite Aretha songs!

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